Surprise, surprise

As my pregnancy progresses, our friends and family have been asking us whether we will find out whether our baby is going to be a little boy or a little girl. When we reply that we are going to keep it a surprise, the response has been quite mixed. Some people cannot imagine it any other way; others (like Elly!) don’t see the point of waiting until the baby is actually born.


Turquoise = gender neutral?

Our reasons for not finding out are several. We are lucky to agree on this issue; I’m not sure what we would do if one felt strongly one way and the other the opposite! Equally, we are adamant that are not going to find out and just keep it to ourselves. What is the purpose of that? I couldn’t keep a straight face or lie to my Mum if she asked me about it. And if you tell the parents, then you have to tell siblings, other family, close friends… basically everyone!

We genuinely don’t mind whether we are having a pink or blue baby. The fact that Mr Cath calls my bump “he” and I call it “she” is neither here nor there – at least one of us is right! When I was younger, I did desperately want a little boy. This is probably due to having a younger sister but no brother, so I therefore felt that boys were cuter! At a careers development event a rather intense man examined my life goals and all I could ultimately say for certain was that I wanted to have a baby. When pushed further, I admitted that what I visualised was a little boy. I think he
was a bit disappointed by that being the extent of my ambition at the time!

That was all before our two adorable nieces were born, however. Since meeting them everything has changed and I have realised that in fact, girls can be wonderful too. I recently spent a fun afternoon looking after the two of them and afterwards found myself wishing there was a little girl in my tummy after all! So it is a dilemma, but a very happy one.

Also, this has been the precedent in our family; all five of our nieces and nephews have been surprises, and thus the birth of each one has been even more exciting than it would have been had we known what to expect. We want our experience to be as happy and fulfilling as theirs has been, and I can’t equate that with taking a major part of the mystery away. It seems that there is more to look forward to as well with a surprise – when I imagine having a baby, the words “it’s a boy/girl!” (delete as appropriate) are integral to the whole thing.

There are two things that could go wrong if you choose to find out your baby’s gender. The sonographer might make a mistake. Despite the incredible modern technology used in ultrasounds, no result is 100% accurate. Imagine decking out the nursery in pink and stocking up on flowery onesies, only to be greeted by a little boychild! The other thing to be aware of is that the baby might not be in the correct position to be viewed in that way. Unfortunately there’s not much you can do about that… perhaps take a private scan later on. Nevertheless, a bit of a letdown and unexpected expense!

What has ultimately swayed our decision is the fact that once you know, there is no going back. There is absolutely no way we could undo that knowledge. On the other hand, if we do subsequently get overcome by a burning desire to find out, we can always shell out for another scan further down the line.

Finally… we get to think about both boy and girl names which is twice as exciting!

2 thoughts on “Surprise, surprise

  1. MUM of 3

    I am like Elly– I HAVE to know– I cannot deal with not knowing– I have been itching to know since the home-based pregnancy stick test showed two stripes instead of 1. My 20th week scan is in two days– and 48 hours seem just too long. I know I will be shattered if the sonographer cant tell. And I don’t understand why I am so curious– I just am, as I have been with my last two pregnancies too. But I am also like Cath– I just want ME to know, and probably want my parents to know because I wont be able to keep it from them, but once I tell them then I no longer have control over the info. Is it OK to lie? Tell the world I DO NOT KNOW, when infact I DO? Is it even possible to keep it a secret from your parents–or if I were to go to an extreme, from Dear Husband, who I know may accidentally let it slip (he may not be with me at the scan)?


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