I am Mummy

The couple previously known as Elly and Fred are now referring to themselves in the third person and under the pseudonyms “Mummy” and “Daddy”. Previously of generally sound mental health, they have given up entirely on their previous identities in order to refer to themselves under these pseudonyms to a baby who does not understand a word they are saying and hence the aliases are entirely unnecessary.

“Mummy” is blaming Will “Daddy loves you” Smith for this unfortunate turn of events.

It started off quite innocently with:
“Come to Mummy”
“Do you want Mummy?”

Sentences which would have made more sense with “Mummy” replaced by “me” but they could be forgiven.

These have now stepped up their insanity to a running commentary on everything that is happening in the third person, for example:
“Shall Mummy change your nappy?… Now Mummy doesn’t want to be peed on so please do not pee while she’s getting the new nappy. Mummy thinks you need some airing. Don’t cry it’s not that bad – Mummy is only doing what’s best for you…”

And the fact that Elly and Fred are now referring to each other as such is double weird:
“Do you want Mummy?” (says Daddy)
“You want Daddy to change your nappy, don’t you? Yes, you do” (says Mummy).

It is only a matter of time before Elly and Fred forget their actual identities and start referring to themselves directly in this manner, for example changing “Fred, can you pass the salt?” to become “Daddy, can you pass the salt?”

That this psychological break has happened so easily is disturbing for the couple and they hope this is a temporary insanity while they adjust to parenthood.

I dread to think what will happen when it’s just me and Elphie all day. Cath would say that I will find it easy to have conversations with myself as I already have these with the cat – although at least the cat meows in response! Either way, it has been shown that chatting away to myself will help her development, so needs must, otherwise, how will she ever head an evil empire just like her dear old Dad?

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