Ah the heady days before baby, when I could have a few large glasses of wine after work, share a bottle with a meal or finish the night with a wee dram or two; a sudden withdrawal from alcohol was always going to raise suspicions of pregnancy in those around me.
Luckily while pregnant, I just went off the stuff. From occasionally actually craving a glass of wine, I went to not being bothered by it – I would have a sip of Fred’s tipple just so I knew what I was missing, but that was enough. I was paranoid that Elphie would be born with fetal alcohol syndrome as a consequence of the extra drinks I had at Charles and Laura’s wedding following a negative pregnancy test that I mistakenly thought had put me in the clear. Fetal alcohol syndrome has a number of nasty growth and mental retardation symptoms alongside facial abnormalities like the below courtesy of an article by Warren, Hewitt & Thomas. There is speculation that Jade Goody and George W Bush shared these facial characteristics but I’ll leave you to play Dr Google on that one.
I’ve never been completely sure about the word “pregnant”. It conjures up the idea of impregnation, which is rather biological for me (in my head it is associated with words like insemination, which quite frankly I could do without thinking about too closely).
My favourite substitute is probably “expecting”, especially when with Mr Cath – “we’re expecting” just sounds so much more warm and positive than “I’m pregnant”. It was a team effort after all and we will be equal as parents, despite the fact I’m the one to have carried our baby around for nearly nine months now.
But what other terms are there for my current state? It’s a bit late now as my condition is so obvious, but I decided to investigate a few other labels a pregnant lady can describe herself with:
I find this a bit too slang and while it’s somehow ok to gossip about someone being preggers in the third person (e.g. “do you think she’s preggers?”) I wouldn’t use it to describe myself – it’s too flippant a word for something so special!